You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
