I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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