You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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