I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This house was built for laser tag.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
