I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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