she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
