do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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