I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to have your abortion
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.