Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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