i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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