I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize