I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
