i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
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Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.