If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian