We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party