im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
