She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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