Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
