How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
