Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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