"it" just moved
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
