Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Drake has all the answers
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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