is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
