I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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