I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
