i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A+ Viking dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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