I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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