Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
