i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
