I am spending my child support on dildos
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
