There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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