Just fell off a train. Bad.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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