he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
