we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
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I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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