hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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