it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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