Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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