Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
