Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
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Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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