i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
