im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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