if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
