She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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