I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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