My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
