she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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