New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
