How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
