i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
whose parrot is this?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
