And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
