u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
