I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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