Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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(773): View more from Illinois

Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

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(407): View more from Florida

I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.

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(212): View more from New York

The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

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(905): View more from Ontario

i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture

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(518): View more from New York

Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?

(1-518): View more from New York

Absolutely same thing as church only different

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