What a fucking waste of an outfit
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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