ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
