Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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