you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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