youre lurking in front of me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
