then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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