I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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